Notes on Living Alone

I've decided to make a list of things I've learned about living alone. Included are some things I've learned about myself, others are things I wish someone had told me. But maybe that's an enigma of solitude-- you never truly understand the unique nature of living alone until you've experienced the complete freedom that is intra-apartment nudity. These are observations of the immense joy and sometimes earthly peril that I experience on a daily basis.

selfie from ACL weekend

1. A bottle of wine is many more fluid ounces than expected when not shared with other people.
2. The presence of a strategically placed scented oil diffuser can completely change my mood when walking in the door after a long day.
3. I still cannot do laundry properly. Example: an adorable red $7 clearance Old Navy wrap dress that will now fit a professional-looking 12 year old girl.
4. Money management is a bitch, but Mint.com can organize your debit purchases, make you feel terrible for your spending habits, and guilt you into saving more money.
5. Unless I make myself a meal, I don't eat. Still wrapping my brain around this one.
6. GROCERIES ARE EXPENSIVE. Someone tell me how whole families are able to subsist on mediocre budgets. Seriously.
7. I can eat whatever the hell I want for dinner (e.g. 6 handfuls of Goldfish, a black bean burger patty, several cherry tomatoes, and some cheddar cheese)
8. Unless I clean my apartment, it doesn't get clean. Also to be noted, if I make a mess, it is MY MESS so I can accept responsibility for cleaning it.
9. The me that lives alone likes to listen to informative podcasts during my entire morning routine.
10. I make coffee in the morning, not because I need it, but because I can. I like the ritual. And using agave nectar for something.
11. I can successfully sustain the life of an aloe vera plant (going on 2 weeks).
12. When using normal recipes with a yield for a small family, cooking for one becomes very much about LEFTOVERS. The kind that excited you the first day, but by day 3 the sight of it makes you cringe. You even begin to make excuses to go out in order to avoid said leftovers.
13. Unless I do my dishes (BY HAND! no dishwasher) somehow they won't get done. I continue to pass them, wondering if they're still there even though I haven't touched them. They are.
14. I can cry about my completely reasonable electricity bill and promptly refuse to turn on my A/C wall unit. Until I can't take it anymore.
15. I talk to myself aloud. Often.
16. I have a need to use tools. Screwdrivers, hammers, wrenches, all of those bad boys (which I keep in plastic bag, like a boss). And I like using 'em, makes me feel accomplished. (see: the time I attached my license plates, the time I affixed basket and safety lights to my bike) I also changed my refrigerator light bulb this week. No tools required, but still.
17. This might be the most upsetting of all. When living alone, you have to kill your own bugs. $(@!&*$!@$(%! WTF. Why. WHY ME? No one is here to feel sorry for me or offer to use THEIR flip-flop to end the life of a nasty little cockroach who darts across my bathtub! And no one can hear me scream! (Except Jon when I had to call him for moral support. Sorry, babe.) I've had to smush my own ants, and thwack my own creepy flying bee-looking insect. It's unjust.
18. Laying a yoga mat on the floor does not encourage me to do self-guided yoga practice.
19. I can go out with friends and stay out until 11:00 just like all the crazy kids my age are doing. Woooo! Watch out everybody.
20. My apartment is a judgment-free zone. Did I decide to try out a mayo hair treatment one day? Yeah girl, but ain't nobody judging you for that. YOU LIVE ALONE. And your hair is a little softer for it.

Honestly what I've really learned, and what I essentially already knew, is that it's critical to be okay with being alone. To accept yourself and enjoy your own company. Two weekends ago on a bus to Austin City Limits Music Festival, I noticed all the solo passengers checking their phones as though something else was very important and needed their attention. But it seems to me that no one is okay with being alone anymore, not even for a few minutes. It sounds crazy, but people have commented that they find it refreshing when they see me write in my journal-- they thought "nobody does that anymore." It's sad to think people aren't spending time with themselves -- even with all the encouragement from Dove Chocolate foil wrappers. I can say I am happy to be comfortable in my own skin and with my own thoughts. Feels good.